Worth It Part II

In 2014:

        I wouldn’t deny that I have always been optimistic majority of the time. However, I can honestly say there have been moments where I just wanted to scream “WHY ME, GOD? WHY ME?”  One thing that I struggled with the most growing up was having guys underestimate me. Like any other girl, I crushed on guys and flirted with them. I was never afraid to go talk to a cute guy. Liking a guy wasn’t ever easy like I wanted it to be though.  They always underestimated me. I would get the same response every time. 

      “You’re a cool girl, but I…think of you more as...a friend.” 

        It was like the fact that I am in a wheelchair made them doubt me as a person.  I hated it. I would sometimes go hide in the girls’ bathroom and cry. 

        With teary eyes, I would looked in the mirror and think “I hate being different!  This is pointless!  Nobody will fall in love with me ever.”

        Although, it was difficult, I have learned that I have only grown stronger because of it. God wouldn’t have put me through it if he didn’t have a reason why.  I knew all the pain and frustration would be worth it, because someday somebody will see what God sees in me.                 

Now:

         I wish I could tell my younger self that pain and frustration would definitely be worth it. Finding love seemed impossible to me back then. 
         Why can't I find someone to love me as I am?!? 

          But I have learned that love is not supposed to be found. Love supposed to be received. 

          18 months ago, Brandon and I started dating officially. Since the beginning, Brandon has proved to me that I'm worth it. I can honestly say that our relationship has had many up and downs. We both were pushed over the limit when the Great Flood happened. However, we have grown closer and have helped each other stay positive.  I can't explain how it feels to be madly deeply in love with someone who madly deeply loves me back. He has always put me first. He has always been there when I have moments of sadness or anxiousness. When I get sick, he always makes sure I have everything to get better. When I have issues with my chair or my computer, he always tries to resolve them. Even when I completely drive him insane, he stays devoted. He is truly the guy i have waited my whole life for. I am beyond grateful to be his.